Lust
The Incoherent Ramblings of An Embarrassing Disaster
No one told me this emptiness would echo. No one told me to steer clear of a good looking fellow, and fellow companion, no need to worry. I am not stressed but I am pretty depressed. The droplet empties in my stomach, a solitary tear. And my flesh ripples and bubbles , and I am a spell to behold but my magic invisible to those who are repulsed. My heart it does pulse with this inappropriate vulgarity. Sometimes people still stare at me. Is it my extra chin or my angry face…a constant rage I can’t put away? A rage from a fear, from a want so human, but I’m less than the ache in my back, the air I need compressed from my lungs.
I am a paint splattered and stained human surprise, and I feel repulsive to most eyes. My skin is sad and tired of living.To be correct, this shouldn’t bother me and I should keep giving. So raise your legs to the sky, my sweet angels, cuz it’s gonna come for all of us.So work those fuckin angles.
Time misrepresented. Just like the facts.Just like all of who I said I am. That is who I am because I fucking claim it, even thought you thought I cared that you hate this. Pay this .punish this . get on top of this ,touch this, touch me, kiss me. Can we just exchange lips? I need more memories like this ,but better and can we just have more magic, or am I realigned for more crazy stories from that one time…. and then again recently you wouldn’t believe.
Seriously.
Ok so….
Touch your fingers,and run them through mine.Close to you gets closer this time.Warm gets warmer, and you’re getting hotter and who would’ve thought of this.I don’t like you, just your lack of ability to grab your feelings and put them in the bag. I will die like this, a fucked up emotional old hag. My chest touches bottom, yeah reaching for the ground. There is a deafening silence when you’re not around. What’s it like over there? Do you have music and laughter and joy? I wanna play with you more if you wanna be my toy. Sit down slow and I got my legs wrapped around you, frozen in shock is how I found you.Astounded at my audacity, and intellectual capacity.The stillness of my creativity must have told you that you can sure get to me.
Do you want me alone or a whisper in a crowd? I like to say how I feel and make the neighbors know I’m proud. I’m thirsty like a desert .Can I drink you up?Pour from my cup til I’m dry to the last drop. Harass me, and abuse me til I’m almost dead.Take til it hurts.I will cry alone in bed. or maybe with you next to me.Maybe this is my fantasy.Get inside me til it hurts, and let me know who you think is boss, and tell me what’s my worth. Make me feel cheap, bite me, suck my soul out through my spirit, that even hell won’t hold. Go for the center of my being and make it tender, licked, and pulse and pulse and pulse and pound til I’m out of breath and my head is in the air and my feet can’t touch the ground. Make me lose control of my grip of my senses. My dreams and desires and fears I’ve had for years. Lie to me.
Leave her panties out.Just be honest. That’s what I’m all about. Don’t take her number, but you can drink her in and she can come with us if she’s cute and she’s femme.Close the door. They all know. Like the girl you saw at the bar… and traded glances with. I know who I am to you and I know what I know. I know you didn’t say your goodbyes to her. I know you fucking lied to her, like you lied to me.Oh keep fucking going……. don’t stop baby! Don’t stop prioritizing your needs over my feelings… can you imagine if you just. didn’t. stop. the kind of things. that you . could be feeling? I wanna see you sweat. I wanna know you know that I know that you know that you lied and know that you care that I didn’t try and I’m not gonna stop til yr outta breath. I’m not gonna stop til you’re feeling it. Did you get a little warm?
How tight was your collar from one to ten? Had me up against the wall. I’d like that feeling again. I only like you cuz yr dangerous. Keep me waiting.A stiff undertaking. Let me sit on your lap, just relax. I wanna be your comfort.Later I’ll be your poison. Drink me in, I’ll get you drunk but never sick, make you wanna sin. Make you wanna hurt me, take the life from me. Pull me around by my thoughts.Yank me around, keep my mind on you, get all my highs from you, clean up my thighs from you.
Take your hands and put them everywhere I have skin.Don’t return my calls.That’s the way in.Apply enough pressure, and do it so slow. You know how to kiss me, 3rd life in a row. A comfortable familiar.I fucking know that you know. Mess my hair up, make me think you care, while you are as carefree as a naked dare in front of a window and an audience of strangers. You’re welcome to the traffic below. This is how to be held and this is how to hold.
This is how to hold a bomb they told you wasn’t dangerous.My perfume whispers secrets to her when she gets home. How scared a thing to damage, I’m sorry. and I didn’t know.
I need you say things that sound like a melody, but don’t exist in real life. You are the best diet I’ve had in my life.A withdrawn anorexia, but I crave the next time I get to be next to yah.Slide your fingers into my magic, put your fingers in my words, keep me drunk on what will never be. I’ll never be her.
I could never be that basic or gifted or smart. I am a sloppy slobber on a Tuesday afternoon where you slide my secrets down my leg to take what you want in a private room they won’t know we occupy. Fuck you are so hot. Fuck you, you’re my type.